Ender's Blog

Games & Tech Stuff - Geeks Unite!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you......CHUCK NORRIS!!!


Chuck Norris' tears would cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the Chuck giveth, and the Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't @..@with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, for his pleasure.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Posted by Ender :: 3:38 PM :: 1 comments

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

And the verdict is....

Guilty!! I am guilty of kicking butt in the TRU sale!!

I came away with:

Alien Hominid
Blood Rayne 2
Ghost in the Shell
King of Fighters: Maximum Impact Collector's Edition
LotR: Return of the King
Star Ocean 2

The Bard's Tale
DoA: Ultimate
Doom 3
PoP2: Warrior Within
Project Snowblind
Razes Hell
SNK vs. Capcom Chaos

Pikmin 2
Resident Evil 4
Viewtiful Joe 2
Virtua Quest

Final Fantasy 1&2: Dawn of Souls
Advance Wars 2
Golden Sun 2

Mr. Driller

I also got two free Star Wars Xbox controllers valued at $40.

Total pull: 25 games and two controllers for $200 after tax. Amazing.

Posted by Ender :: 9:17 AM :: 3 comments

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I <3 Toys-R-Us!

Today is a great day in the history of game deals. TRU is having a massive liquidation sale on a lot of their games, down to $9.98 apiece. I'm going to head down to the TRU here in my area to grab what I can. I pre-bought 10 games a few days ago, so I will price-adjust them today.

Here is a link to the list: http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=78425&page=1&pp=20

You may have to register for a free account to see the thread.

I will post my findings when I get back from TRU. Wish me luck!!

Posted by Ender :: 5:15 AM :: 0 comments

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Happy 24th Enderday!

Yep, my birthday today. 24 years on this earth, and I still haven't figured out why men have nipples....ah well, maybe at 25.....

Well, today has been an amazing day. It began with my wife making me homemade French Toast for breakfast. Then it was present time! My wife had quiz questions for me to answer for every gift, and I only got one wrong. Luckily, she had a backup prepared, so I redeemed myself. My gifts were great, I received:

A guitar strap that I really needed
Mario Kart DS (If you have a Nintendo DS, go buy this game NOW!)
GBA - Zelda-Link to the Past
A book to help me with my book-writing
The Legolas Swords and Scabbards!!!!
A cool knife that resembles the spinning thing that Blade uses
A $50 Home Depot gift card for doing fixer-upper stuff. Woot!

We then went to my Mom's house for lunch, then to the Exploreum for the bug exhibit. Good times. After that, we braved the mall, and discovered that we hate everyone at the mall. Except ourselves, of course. ;)

What a great day. My wife is the best!!!

Posted by Ender :: 5:29 PM :: 2 comments

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

Review: God of War

Well, a few weeks ago I bought God of War for $28.88 from Target. I haven't played it until now, for no good reason, really. So tonight I cracked it open and popped it into the PS2 to give it a try. What followed was 30 minutes of pure, unadulterated gaming magic. In no more than half an hour, this game sky-rocketed itself into my Top 5 Games of All Time! Simply stunning.

The game began with our hero battling monsters with his handy dual blades-on-chains that are pictured above. These things are more fun than a basket full of Slinkies and elbows. The battle system is so enveloping that I felt sad when there was nothing left to kill. Frustrated, I found myself muttering a line from Major Payne: "There's gotta be somebody that needs some killin'!!" Bloody and gory, the fighting in this game is all you could ever ask for.

Fifteen minutes in, I found my dark protagoinst face-to-snout with a Hydra. A FRICKIN' HYDRA. Yea, that was awesome. I subsequently kicked the crap out of his face. After some more great action and platforming, the vile beast made a comeback, this time with two more heads. After a little confusion on how to keep the two smaller heads down, I moved on to the huge head. This battle was a war, nothing less. After I prevailed, as my man Kratos always does, I ran down the gullet of the creature to retrieve a key I needed. End scene. Drool-wiping time.

If you don't have this game, get it. If you can't get it, you suck. ;)

God of War = 10/10

Posted by Ender :: 4:44 PM :: 1 comments

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Friday, December 16, 2005

Game Review: Wild Arms 3

Hey all, I just started playing Wild Arms 3 tonight; I put in about 30 minutes.

So far, it seems like a very cool game. It's a role-playing game (RPG), and that is one of my favorite genres. It has a Western theme, and it seems that the focus is more on guns, or "ARMs" as the game calls them, then the usual swords and axes of most RPGs. Great character development even at a half-hour into the game.

I'll post a more thorough review when I finish the game!

Posted by Ender :: 6:26 PM :: 3 comments

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And on the 8th day, God.....

Realized that he hadn't blogged in over a week, and decided to get on the ball! Well, actually, I'm not God, but you get the point.

Today was a weirdly busy day; not a huge rush or anything, but very steady all day. It was nice though, because we had a non-lazy crew at work today, and the time flew by.

I got a few new games lately, they are:

Primal (PS2)
Zone of the Enders (PS2)
Zone of the Enders: The 2nd Runner (PS2)
Jade Empire Limited Edition (Xbox)
007 Everything or Nothing (Xbox)
Otogi: Myth of Demons (Xbox)
Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven (PS2)
Atelier Iris (PS2)
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 1 & 2 (PS2)

I really want to get Magna Carta (PS2), but it's rare and hard to find!

I sang the national anthem on Tuesday, and it went very well. I was very nervous, but all was well and I think I nailed it. The ceremony went good too, although I didn't pull down any awards.

Later homies.

Posted by Ender :: 12:17 PM :: 0 comments

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Rate your life!

So, I found this quiz on another blog (http://katelilac.blogspot.com/), and decided to give it a try. Thankfully, I scored rather well on it. Give it a try, it will probably take you less than 5 minutes to complete!

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 7.3
Mind: 7.5
Body: 5.5
Spirit: 7.6
Friends/Family: 7.4
Love: 9.1
Finance: 7.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Posted by Ender :: 9:20 AM :: 0 comments

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Kickin' it Francis Scott Key-style!

I have been recruited again this year to sing the National Anthem at the annual TSA-MOB Awards Ceremony. I must admit, this always makes me nervous. I love singing more than anything, but there is something about putting myself out there on front of a group of people that gets my stomach turning. In addition to that, the national anthem is one tough song to sing, and it will be acapella. *sigh* I can do it, it's just a tad nerve-wracking. Keep your fingers crossed for me on the 13th of this month!

Posted by Ender :: 6:58 AM :: 3 comments

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And so I'm back, from outer space....

Or a fit of laziness....;)

Good to be back guys! I got reinspired to start blogging again by the blogs of two friends; one is The Earth's Mightiest Blog, by my friend Jarvis - http://earthsmightiestblog.blogspot.com/

The other is a newfound blog, by the name of redgopher.com - http://redgopher.com/ I found this guy on cheapassgamer.com and clicked on the link to his blog. Check it out when you get a moment.

Anyway, time for a massive update, I suppose.

We just got our Honda back a few days ago, after almost two months and $16,000 of repairs. It felt so good to only have to give them the $500 deductible! Full coverage sure came in handy. The car is running really well, and looks like new, so I think we will keep it. The body shop guarantees their work for life, and have been great thus far.

I've been practicing guitar regularly, and have progressed a bit in skill level. Still no Dave Matthews, but I'll get there.

Recently, I went on a video game buying craze. To be honest, it hasn't subsided yet. Here is what I have bought in the last month or so:

Baten Kaitos
Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
TimeSplitters: Future Perfect

Playstation 2
Alter Echo
The Bouncer
Samurai Legend Musashi
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence
Devil May Cry
Dynasty Warriors 4
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X-2
God of War
Jak 2
Katamari Damacy
Mark of Kri
Metal Gear Solid 2
Metal Gear Solid 3
NBA Street
Onimusha 2
Shadow of the Colossus
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Tekken Tag Tournament
Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven
True Crime
Wild Arms 3
Zone of the Enders (How could I not get this one? Look at the name!!)

007 Bond: Everything or Nothing
Blood Omen 2
Demon Stone
Halo 2
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction
Jade Empire
Lord of the Rings: The Third Age
Mortal Kombat: Deception
Otogi: Myth of Demons
Panzer Dragoon Orta
Second Sight
Soul Caliber 2

Playstation 1
Final Fantasy 7
The Legend of Dragoon
Parasite Eve

Gameboy Advance
Castlevania: Circle of the Moon
Final Fantasy 1 & 2: Dawn of Souls
Sigma Star Saga

Nintendo DS
The Electric Blue system
Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrows
Super Mario 64 DS

Guild Wars
Warhammer 40k

Not bad, eh? I know you're thinking, "He must've spent a fortune!" Well, I didn't. I found amazing deals on all those games through the afore-mentioned website, http://www.cheapassgamer.com

Feel free to have a look!

Posted by Ender :: 6:21 AM :: 2 comments

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Friday, December 02, 2005

Get a free PSP! Seriously!

Hey guys, I know it's been a long dang while since I've posted here, but I had some news to share with you all.

I found a legit and easy way to get your grubby hands on a free PSP! You can find out more here: http://psps.freepay.com/?r=25428766

Here is a summary for you, anyway. You click that link, which goes towards my referral balance, of which I need 5. After you choose one of the deals to participate in, I get credit for it. The best one to choose is the RealPass, because it is free, and you can cancel at anytime. Anyway, I would really appreciate it if you found it in you to help me out. If you do sign up, send me an email at ender55@gmail.com.

Thanks homies!!

Posted by Ender :: 1:48 PM :: 0 comments

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